Something a little more personal..

personal

I really struggled to choose a title for this post, as there’s so much I have to say! So I’m just going to start off with a bit of an explanation. Back in 2010 I started my first University course, my BSc in Biological Science of which I graduated in 2013. For three years I lived in Bristol whilst studying, and although I loved my time there I had quite a tough time personally.

Fast forward to 2016, I’ve just started my DipHE in Operating Department Practice and I’m currently staying in Bristol again whilst I’m on the lecture block of this course. Last week was the first week I spent staying in Bristol with my younger brother, and it gave me so much nostalgia. I almost had a bit of a realisation about how much has changed since I last lived in Bristol, and how much I’ve changed in myself also so I just wanted to put those feelings onto paper.

Looking back, I can now clearly see that when I started University at 18 I was in a completely different headspace to where I am now. I was quite naive, lacked in self confidence/self belief and I had a massive fear of being alone. Although I had moved away from home, I was very dependent on others and hated doing things/going out alone. On top of this, I literally had no idea what I wanted to do with my life!

So on returning to Bristol, as well as a massive wave of nostalgia and wonderful memories, it all suddenly dawned on me how much I have changed..I’ve learnt to not worry so much about what others think of me, which is something I really struggled with in the past. I’ve drawn the conclusion that no matter what you choose you do in life, there’s always going to be critics & skeptics. So just let the negativity go over your head like water off a duck’s back!

The main change which dawned on me was down to being more independent, and being content with myself/my own company. I used to dread driving to new places, or driving around the city that I’d get myself so anxious my feet would be shaking on the pedals in the car! Last week I did so much driving, all to new places and I just felt super calm and much better at coping. I also spent an afternoon in Bristol exploring by myself, I did a bit of shopping and spent an hour in Starbucks reading my book. I felt so comfortable and content, and reflecting this made me realise that I’ve grown up a lot.

I’m aware this post has turned into quite an essay! But I just wanted to add that I think something which has had a huge impact on my life in the last three years is my amazing boyfriend Mark. He has so many qualities which have balanced me out as a person, and I wouldn’t be where I am today without him.

I may still have problems with my confidence at times, but I’ve grown into a person who is much more content and just able to cope better with life’s curve balls. I’m so glad that I’ve got to the end of this path, as I feel like I’m in the best place for the Uni course I’m starting. I’m excited for what the future holds, and it’s such a nice feeling to finally have some certainty in my career path laid out ahead of me.

I guess what I wanted to get across in this post was that sometimes life may throw you many curve balls, you might feel like you have no sense of direction. But it’s how you tackle the problems, and how you grow that determines your true direction. I don’t think 18 year old me would have ever predicted where I am, but I couldn’t be happier right now.

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10 thoughts on “Something a little more personal..

  1. Such a great post. Looking back it is ridiculous that at 18, or 19 in my case as I took a gap year to work, that we are thrown into independence with a load of people we don’t know in a new place! Looking back I don’t know how I survived alone 150 miles from home! It was one of the hardest times of my life but also the best as I met my best friend who 10 years after graduating is still my best friend and together we survived the difficult uni years xxxx great post xxx so great to hear that you are enjoying being back in Bristol again and you are not as anxious trying new things xx

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  2. Great post Lucie! I so agree, its crazy how fast I grew up and even from a year ago I think about how much I’ve changed! When I went from school to university, I changed so much, I have always been a pretty independent person so going to university finally gave me that and allowed me to do my own thing! It’s definitely changed me a lot but for the better!

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  3. Amazing post Lucie! I love how real you keep things πŸ™‚ can totally relate I’m in my honours year and its so stressful already and I don’t know what I will be doing next year but I’m going to try to embrace and make the most of it regardless! x

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